Sunday, October 12th was just another ordinary day... I woke up, took care of Parker (our golden retriever who is more like a brother than a dog), got ready for church, went to church, ate some food, took a small nap, went to practice for Tribulation House, went to pick my parents up from the airport. When we got home, we couldn't wait to see Parker. He always get sooo excited when my dad comes home from anywhere... especially a few day trip. We opened the door and said "Parker!! Daddy's home!!!!!".. at this point he usually jumps up, runs to the door, and bombards my dad with barks and happiness. Well, this time was different. He just sat there... it took everything in him to get up off the floor... but even still he wasn't barking or moving and jumping on my dad. We thought it was strange so we tried to give him one of his favorite foods.. pizza. He wouldn't even look at it. My dad decided to take him outside and as soon as he did, Parker just laid down. He NEVER does that. So, we knew something was terribly wrong but didn't know what. We took him to a 24-hour vet thinking he needed a shot or some minor thing down to make him better.... we left that night without him. Sitting in the waiting room was torturous. I tried to tell myself he would be fine and we'd just take him home in a little. I KNEW he was ok... I KNEW he was going home with us. The vet called my parents to a back room and told them the news. They came out of the room and I quickly asked what she said. My dad had tears in his eyes and my mom was sobbing.. She began to tell me that he had a tumor on his spleen that had ruptured and his entire belly was full of blood... this is what caused his labored breathing. I was shocked, but even still... I thought he would just need a little surgery and it would be better. I was very very wrong. They began to tell me that the vet said she could do surgery (would cost $2,000) and he would be ok for a little but the cancer was so aggressive that it would come right back... surgery wasn't very smart either because he was 8 years old and its hard on older dogs. My dad selfishly could have kept him alive but he knew Parker would only be suffering and we would only be prolonging his illness. He decided to put him to sleep. I cant explain my emotions. I sat there stunned thinking there was some way to stop all of this nonsense... and then it hit me, I was leaving without him. I began to cry like a little baby. My dad asked if I wanted to be there when they put him to sleep (my dad and I were the closest to him) but I couldn't bare it. I didn't want my last memory to be of him dead... but I knew I had to hug him one last time, tell him I love him one last time..I had to kiss his face like I always did. I went into the tiny little room where they were going to put him to sleep and I sat there crying. When they brought him in.. he came in wagging his tale and came right up to me. Its as if he knew what was about to happen. He sat on the floor and I immediately got down there with him. I just laid my face in him and weeped. I've seriously never cried that hard in my life. I couldn't let go. I couldn't do it. I couldn't leave the vet without my best friend. I thought maybe it was all a horrible nightmare and I'd soon wake up. Then I felt tears dripping onto the top of my head.. they were my dads. He was on one knee trying to fight his tears.. he just couldn't do it. He said "come on baby, it's time...". Leaving my best friend there was hard enough but to have my dad crying was just as bad. I knew what hurt and pain he was feeling. Parker WAS his absolute best friend. They did everything together. The bond they had was so strong, more like father and son. I kissed Parker one last time and squeezed his neck... then I ran out of the building to the outside and sat on the curb... gasping for air... the pain I felt was unbearable... how could everything be ok one minute and then the next minute be completely the opposite?? Why did it have to happen so soon and out of the blue?! Ryan came out to comfort me.. he held me tight and wiped my tears. My dad stayed with Parker until he took his last breath. He sat on the floor with Parkers front paws straddling him and he held his face and petted him the entire time. He said Parker stared right into his eyes the whole time, never looking away. He knew. Parker knew it was his time. The vet injected the stuff into his leg and 30 seconds later he took his last breath.. staring into my dads eyes. My dad reached up and shut his eyes. That was it. He was gone. How could this happen?! The ride home that night was horrible.... when we got to the house we all broke down. EVERYTHING reminded us of Parker. I cried myself to sleep for about a week. My dad walked around like a lost puppy... it was truly a grieving process. When I would come home from somewhere I would look in the front window bcuz I was so used to Parker being there waiting and then I'd realize that he was gone and I'd cry all over again. He was the greatest dog. So loyal, fun, amazing... our best friend. We will forever miss him.
On Thursday the 16th I surprisingly got to buy a baby kitty!!!! I was soooooooooo happy!! She is the cutest. Her name is Ruby!
Last night, we got a new baby golden retriever puppy-- his name is Tucker!!! He is from the same bloodline and breeder as Parker. That means they are related and he is sooooooo cute! My dad is finally getting himself back to normal and I'm trusting God to give him and Tucker the same bond (if not better) that him and Parker had!
I busted out my Twisted Peppermint body spray from Bath & Body Works! It smells SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good. I bought it last year because it looks like it actually has peppermints in it.. and it does have glitter so it looks pretty! :) haha but this year, they didnt make it like that... so if you go buy it... don't be disappointed and don't judge it by its cover! hahah it still smells AMAZING. Oh and the lotion is superb!
It snowed this morning! Can you believe it?! It's October 28th and it snowed! It was gorgeous and put me in the mood for Christmas music. I satisfied my craving by listening to "Baby it's cold outside". But, soon, I will definitely be listening to full blown Christmas music. I'm an addict (to Christmas Music)! haha :)
Anyways, Just wanted you to know that I am back and happy once again!
I leave you with this thought.... "Start small, or you won't start at all!"
